Tuesday, 23 July 2013

How To Impress Olympians

Since Lexie and I started marathon training and now 50K training, we have gotten pretty accustomed to getting weird looks from people. There is something about running for 3-4 hours that makes people think there is something seriously wrong with you your medulla oblongata:

But to be honest, most people I talk to are sick of used to my stories of long distances and hours pounding the pavement. Until 4 weeks ago. I set out innocently enough for the first 16 miler of our training plan. I was excited because it was overcast and calling for rain. I like running in the rain. It cools me down and makes me feel a little bit hardcore. After hitting some of my usual streets/trails for a while I started to feel some discomfort in my chest area, also known as my nipples being on fire. Then it hit me! I forgot to lube my nipples! I'm going to have to pause this post for a moment while I add "lube my nipples" to my list of things I have done since become a runner that I never thought I would (also on the list: wearing short shorts, wearing socks that reach my knees, and wearing short shorts and socks that reach my knees at the same time). It wasn't that bad though, so I just kept going thinking a little burning in the shower would be my greatest consequence.

Not long after the realization of my nipple faux pas, one of my favourite things about Guelph Running happened, I saw an Olympic Marathoner! My BRF (best running friend) Eric Gillis passed me, going twice as fast but chatting easily to his partner, who I am pretty sure was Dylan Wykes. We exchanged the usual runners greeting of a smile and of they went. They must have turned around because before long they were coming back towards me. Again, the usual pleasantries were exchanged and I kept going. This is when I looked down and saw some red spots on my shirt and first it didn't register, then it hit me.


It was a weird feeling, I spent the rest of my run oscillating between feeling heroic about my bleeding nipples and feeling self conscious about my bleeding nipples. I finally decided that neither was appropriate, I should just be proud of the fact that my nipple blood was surely a source of entertainment for two Olympic Athletes for at least a few minutes.

About a mile from home the rain came down in buckets, it was nice to cool down. my excitement was growing about showing Lexie my bleeding nipples. I walked in the door and looked down and saw this:

Awesome, right? Lucas isn't a fan of blood so he had a million questions about why I was bleeding. Lexie's response was the best though. "Want me to take a picture so you can blog about it?" she asked. She is always thinking of you readers (all 15 of you) and what we can do to entertain you. 

So that is the story of my bleeding nipples. It was the perfect storm of humidity, white shirt, no nipple lube, and sheer will.

I will leave you with video about the importance of avoiding nipple chaffing as I patiently await a call from our Olympic Marathoners inviting me on a run to keep them entertained with my sensitive nipples. 



  1. What have you done with my pizza eating buddy leigh ? Looking good man keep up the hard work......you still have a large mans head though :)

    1. It's true, running will not shrink ones head size.....sad as that may be. But thanks, whomever you are!

  2. wow, we can't be HandR block cause you are only half of the H

    keep up the good work Boss!

  3. bahahaha this is the funniest thing I've seen in a while - sorry :)