Tuesday, 8 September 2015

One Very Hard Thing

This week I have two very difficult things that I need to do...Now I only have one left...That being to run 100km on Saturday.  This morning I dropped the boys off at school.  Lucas is in grade 2, and is an old pro by now.  He wavered last night, full of worry and anxiety (he is my son after all).  This morning a friend arrived, still overwhelmed with anxiety.  Lucas reassuringly took his hand and off they went.  That boy makes me proud.  He is so kind, and so selfless, and so wonderful.
 Now the hard part...The hard part was dropping my baby off for his first day of SK.  You see, there's this funny this that happens with child number two.  You get the pleasure of having them all by themselves when they are actually people and not newborn blobs.  Cooper and I are buddies, he says  that I'm his best friend.  Now I don't have a buddy to hang out with all day.  This is a new season of my life.  For seven years I have thought of myself as a stay at home mom who works a couple of days a week.  Now I'm a mom of school aged kids, who works more.  I should be thrilled with my days off.  Days where I can run errands, and get things done at home, and mark papers without interruption should feel luxurious.  This morning the van and the house felt eerily empty.  This morning my heart felt a little empty.  

I have learned so much by being Cooper's mom.  He is an example of so many wonderful characteristics.  I like who he is, I am proud of his character, I am lucky to have him in my life.

Cooper cares about other people.  He has what seems to be an inborn sense of empathy, and sympathy.  A couple of months ago a big kid (maybe in 6th grade or so) fell off his bike a half block or so ahead of us.  Without a word Cooper took off ahead of me.  He stopped beside this big boy, resting his hand on his arm and asking if he was ok.  He is not afraid, or uneasy when someone is hurt or upset.  His instinct is to help, and to love.  Walking though a trail in the dark on the way back to our campsite one night this summer, Cooper heard me tell my pregnant sister where there was a root sticking up.  He recognized that I told her to keep her safe, to make sure she didn't trip.  He then found every rock, root, and pebble all the way through the trail.  He would shine his light on it, and warn her that it was there.  It was important to him that she be safe.
Cooper is fun!  People love to be around Cooper.  I mean let's be realistic, his antics, while often frustrating for parents, are quite entertaining.  When I drop him off at the program at the Y, children run over ready to play.  We dropped him off at his cousins' house last week...The squealing and pure unabashed joy that he was greeted with was incredible.  Cooper's littlest cousin ADORES him.  We can't quite figure out why her affection for him is so intense, but Cooper can turn around a potential meltdown with a single look.

 Cooper is determined.  Want to see a no quit attitude...Spend a day with Cooper.  Cooper knows what he wants, and he knows how to stick with things.
Cooper is smart.  He is a problem solver, and a critical thinker.  He makes connections with concepts I would never think he could understand.  He absolutely loves to learn.  School time with Cooper was always a pleasure.  We was always engaged, and always voracious is his love for learning.

Cooper is brave.  He has conquered significantly difficult things in his young life.  He knows that he is capable, he knows that he can persevere, and he knows that he can overcome.  The last little while he kept telling us that he was excited for school "but a little nervous."  I put my arm around him to say good bye and tell him I loved him...My voice cracking, and tears stinging my eyes.  He took a deep breath, and off he went.  He can do things that are hard for him, he is able to overcome and cope with his own anxiety.

I am so incredibly grateful that I have had the opportunity to be (mostly) at home with him.  Cooper came along and changed me to the very core.  He is a gift to our family, he teaches us so much.  Now it's time that we share him a little more.  My hope for him...
May you always know the truth, and see the light surrounding you.
May you always be courageous, stand upright, and be strong.

1 comment:

  1. I'll be willing to bet everything I own, that you cried the entire time you were writing this. Well written Lex., Love, Mom